When Relationship Values and Vows Collide
- Nikki
- 1 day ago
- 2 min read
It's midlife. Careers have shifted. Your needs, dreams, and sense of self have changed. Has your relationship kept pace?
You've invested years, maybe even decades, building a life and sharing dreams. Yet, something feels...off.
You're emotionally exhausted, uncertain, and torn between honoring the promises you made a lifetime ago and the person you've become since then.
Let's explore values, vows, and what it may mean when they collide.
Values
Values are the deeply held principles that guide your life and the non-negotiables that shape your sense of purpose and fulfillment.
Examples of core values include:
Respect. Feeling seen and heard in your relationship.
Honesty. Living in truth, even when it's uncomfortable.
Growth. Continuing to evolve as a person.
Emotional Safety. Knowing you can express yourself without fear.
When your relationship supports your values, you feel grounded and whole. When it doesn't, you feel disconnected, not just from your partner, but from yourself.
vows
Vows are the promises you made, either at a wedding ceremony or in the quiet moments of commitment, and they matter .
Vows represent love, loyalty, and intention and were made at a point in time, often without knowing how life would change or how you would grow.
midlife collision
Your vows were made with love and sincerity. Your values define who you are. When they collide in midlife, it's more about growth and less about failure.
Problems may arise when we cling to vows out of guilt or obligation, especially when the relationship no longer aligns with our values.
If you're feeling torn, you're not alone or broken. You're simply being invited to live in alignment with who you are today. Not who you were 20, or more, years ago.
searching for clarity?
Download this free booklet for women who feel stuck in limbo. It includes a values activity to help you identify your top relationship values.